Saturday 15 August 2009

I don't feel alright

I'm not usually this obvious.

Wednesday 12 August 2009

Even Better than the Real Thing

At this point it has appeared in most dreams I have had. It feels safe and sickening – as if being suspended in midair. It was just like in the movies. Revelation, revelation, don’t you strangers all wish for a revelation? I know I do.

It perpetually seizes so much the attention of my seemingly warped mind. I have researched thoroughly and no, there is nothing it can hide from me.

I wish I could conspicuously exclaim it out, like IN YOUR FACE.

On second thought, let the questions remain. It wasn’t meant to be understood anyway.

Like the dream you know one day will come to life. Try to hold on just a little longer, stronger.” – Faith No More, The Real Thing
It really, really, really could happen.” – Blur, The Universal

Tuesday 11 August 2009

Sleepwriting

It’s astonishing, how our minds tantalize us when we’re half asleep. The sights you see. The sounds you hear. They feel so genuine yet incessantly bizarre. Your pupils dilate as you fall into languidness, constantly transfixed by your surreal surroundings.

I feel nervous for no reason. Like I have said, I have given so many hints. I have elaborated, explained, enlightened, through unspoken words, about the thing I think about during my sleep. You didn’t pay attention.

I would be willing to stay awake much longer than I usually do. I would be willing to stare all day. I would be willing to follow. If there are chances, I would.

I feel obliged to behave as such. Or maybe I was asking too much. I am pushed by the affliction which it has become. Aha! We all know it knows no boundaries. They formed simultaneous distractions – and contradictions. Those paces are slow but indefinite (all puns intended).

Oh well what can I say? I’m in no position to be demanding. It was an inevitable mistake from the very first. It’s not easy living a contradiction. Apart from this and my vanity I barely speak of more. Isn’t it ironic?

I stared at my ceiling for hours, muttering. I considered each and every possible step but none of it is sane. I wish I believe in magick.

Don’t think I have never thought of revelation. At times I wish those strangers could read beyond my words. But then again we all have come to know that when every word unfolds, I will be disarmed. Now I wouldn’t want to be disarmed, would I? I might as well draw a line across my face. I want to keep the questions coming. No, I need to.

I have to go back to sleep so I can contemplate some more. Strangers, stay strange. And sober.

There is a dream inside a dream, I’m wide awake the more I sleep.” – Marilyn Manson, The Reflecting God