Sulk

How come people get to make mistakes and I don’t?

The length of this endeavour depends on me. This is really challenging.

I feel so negative. If I could be isolated, secluded, I would choose to.

You’re not the only one who needs help.

It’ll end when I start making sense. When I stop lacking sleep. When I stop fearing the outside. Which I won’t in the near future.

I want to wake up to a tranquil surrounding. Or else I might as well just go back to sleep.

“Is it wrong to fear the outside?” – Incase, Alive and Breathing
“All my life I was in the cold. Now I find I feel nothing more.” – Static-X, Invincible

Staying Awake and Staying Away

How long have I been awake? How long have I been away? I need to know if I’m doing it wrong. I need to know if I’m doing it right.

I don’t like how you strangers try to extract facts out of me just to point out that I was somewhat depraved. Why bother? You could try incarcerating your curiosity as I maintain my isolation. The least you know the better.

I was being too nice. I was subsequently absent minded. I am abused. I am cornered. I am enraged. I am deranged. I am tempted to be less productive.

It’s quite interesting how people could come up with verbal accusations that have me forced into void. Maybe it’s always best to keep me from things I should know about. Maybe I was being preoccupied with my infinite adoration.

All of this has been a blessing, if not a curse. Because I know I could not wish upon a shooting star. It’s not part of the plan.

Maybe I should stay away longer and go back to sleep. All puns intended.

“Why live in the world when you can live in your head?” – PULP, Monday Morning
“How can I tell you that I failed?” – Mastodon, Oblivion

Absorb

I keep watering a dead flower. Anything can change. I can change anything.
I am susceptible. I’m putting a halt on this tendency to overlook things.
Since when do you get to make all the rules?
I keep watering the dead flower.
I feel erratic while enjoying the thrill of injecting guilt into your veins.
I’m always right, you see, and you know I possibly am the only person capable of handling those threats.
You should have been enlightened by now that interdependence is inevitable. And that the noose is inescapable.
So much effort is put through test. Appreciate it. I thought I was ready to self-exhaust.
It’s best to not make me want to be violent. And yes the sarcasm was always intentional.
Stop watering the dead flower. There’s not enough time to marvel in the rain.

“Leap of faith, do you doubt?” – Queens of the Stone Age, The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret